Monday, January 23, 2012

You know you´re ...

... a physics student

  • if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically (lol, the best one).
  • if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
  • if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
  • if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
  • if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
  • if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
  • if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
  • if you think in "math."
  • if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
  • if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
  • if you have a pet named after a scientist.
  • if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
  • if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
  • if you can translate English into Binary.
  • if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which says "Exit."
  • if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
  • If you are completely addicted to caffeine.
  • if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
  • if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."
  • if when your professor asks you where your ppaper is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
  • if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
  • if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
  • if any sentence starting with the word "consider ..." makes you want to smash your head into a wall.
  • if you get rage attacks when watching films and the physics doesnt make sense ... cue: "Star Wars, I love you, but how would you actually SEE a laser bullet?!"
  • if you can't talk to "normal" people outside your course/job without feeling the overwhelming urge to talk about electrons.
  • if you can fill an entire notepad with notes without writing an actual word.
  • if you call hills "inclined planes".
  • if you laugh at all the chemists who say they 'understand' quantum mechanics. In fact, you just laugh at all chemists in general.
  • if your friends constantly ask you if you understand things. This ranges from cloud to nuclear bombs. Whether you do or don't understand, they're disappointed.
  • if you genuinely wish the world was frictionless, without gravity and that all moving objects were spherical.
  • "Normal" to you means perpendicular.
  • if you know the Greek alphabet better than the English one.
  • if your jokes involve famous physicists, and your chat-up lines contain trigonometry.
  • if you laugh at completely different parts of Big Bang Theory then your friends do.
  • if you get nightmares where you get chased by infinity symbols in your calculations.
  • if you are happy to consider imaginary rotations through Minkowski 4-dimensional space-time, but the opposite sex is definitely TOO complicated.
  • if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.



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