... a biologist when
You open the toothpaste with one hand.
You wash your hands before and after using to the washroom.
When you hear tween, you think of the surfactant not the age group.
For you, media is something which increases your culture.
You can identify organs on roadkills.
You have a callus on your thumb.
You use the word "aliquot" in regular sentences.
Sometimes you momentarily vanish from social activities because of a timepoint.
You've never worn a clean lab coat.
You don't fear rodents, rodents fear you.
You say "orders of magnitude" in regular sentences.
You flinch when you hear the word "significant".
Showing up at 10AM and having a coffee is a productive day.
You can't stand god-like physicians, while secretly wishing you had their job.
You're very good at diluting things.
You're also very good at transferring small amounts of liquid between containers.
You are fed up of people saying alcohol, when they mean ethanol.
You hear the word ‘Molar’ and teeth are the last thing on your mind.
You say “conjugation” instead of “sex”, and "pili" sounds dirty.
SOB is not an insult, it's what you grow your bugs in.
You say "mills" and "megs".
No-one in your family has any idea what you do.
You can make a short film in power point.
You consider a green laser pointer to be science bling.
A falcon is not a bird....
And you have 5 of them with different types of water.
When your fruits go bad and you get fruit flies, you can't help but check their eye colour
You own invitrogen t-shirts and actually wear them.
You think that drosophila geneticists have a good sense of humour.
You refer to your children as the F1 (I LOVE this one:-)).
You've suffered carpal tunnel from the pipetman.
You've used kimwipes as kleenex.
A timer clipped to the hip is not only practical, but dead sexy.
You've played Battleship using tip boxes.
The front pages of Science is your light reading.
You think the following is a quality insult: "I've seen cells more competent than you!".
The scent of latex reminds you of work, not play.
You're looking for a cooking book by maniatis.
You've made dry ice grenades (so true:-)).
You've lost many friends to ice grenades...
Part II is here.
I AM a biologist:-)
(source, source)
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

No-one in your family has any idea what you do .....so true :)
ReplyDeleteand dry ice grenades :) :)
too good...
You're looking for a cooking book by maniatis. hahaha
ReplyDeleteI AM A BIOLOGIST;-)
ReplyDeleteyou wash your hand and everybody do that////so who is not biologist.....
ReplyDeleteMy dad's a biologist and so am I. Makes me wish no one in my family knew what I do :/ ... But dammit, battleships with empty tip boxes and cookbooks by Maniatis. Priceless!!
ReplyDeleteThe key is you wash your hands BEFORE using the washroom, as well as after.
ReplyDeleteYep... No one in my family (nor my friends) have any clue as to what I do in the lab. I enjoy watching their expression go blank when I try to explain :P I AM a biologist! :D
ReplyDeleteVery cool post!
ReplyDeleteSo true!
Vani (in the process of becoming an ex-biologist...)
So true!!!
ReplyDeleteBiology 4EVA :)
very well said..I am a BIOLOGIST
ReplyDeletehey non-biologists...its not about washing hands after using washroom but washing ur hands B4 using washroom actually...ha ha ha
ReplyDeleteDrosophila geneticists have an AWESOME sense of humor!
ReplyDeleteyou know you are a structural biologist when...
ReplyDeleteyou notice when DNA is incorrectly drawn as left-handed instead of right, like in the picture above
i'm a drosophila geneticists and i must say the admiration of a good sense of humor goes both ways! this is great :)
ReplyDeleteI made dry ice grenades and I'm a printer.
ReplyDeleteSo true, but I never wanted to be a physician!
ReplyDeleteAnoop Kumar
ReplyDeleteYou wash your hands "before" and "after" using to the washroom.
Too complicated to a practicing biologist.
ReplyDeleteDRY ICE GRENADES.
ReplyDeleteI actually forgot falcon is also the name of a bird!!!
ReplyDeletewww.sciencesosexy.blogspot.com
Hey Lab Rats!
ReplyDeleteFalcon is a bird. And not.
I'm a biologist too and when I ask my husband to pull out the food from the freezer I say that food it's at minus 20 degrees
ReplyDeletei even thought about naming my kids pisum sativum!!! :p
ReplyDeleteAs real lab geek I place all my christmas gifts into tip boxes for easy wrapping. Also, 12-plates are great to make pralines ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha, guys. Thanks for all the comments. Some of them really made me lough.
ReplyDeleteYou know you are a biologist when you spend you life thinking you have been doing science and then you find out there is something called physics.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure there is a subset of biologist for whom a falcon is most definitely a bird. Just saying....
ReplyDeleteI guess there is a subset of biologists deeply involved in actually doing chemistry, who, unlike Real Biologists TM, do not think of falcons as birds ;-)
ReplyDeleteWho uses latex anymore? Nothing but nitrile.
ReplyDeleteNot just toothpaste, but any screw on small diameter lid is opened one handed, and the lids never get set down, cause that will lead to contamination... Lol! Also, you spike your hot sauce with pure capsaicin from Sigma. Amen to the left hand DNA too...
ReplyDeleteyou know you are a biologist when Southern does not mean comfort and western is your world
ReplyDeletebattleship with tip boxes !!! super !! made me go nostalgic !!
ReplyDeleteI use aliquot and orders of magnitude all the time in normal speech and don't even think about it.
ReplyDeleteI LOOOOVE this! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteon the DNA:
ReplyDeletealso, there r no major and minor grooves.
ha ha ha...so true so true....almost every single things matches :D
ReplyDeleteso true.. I do agree.. I am a Biologist, and work in a D&A LAB..
ReplyDeleteYou have used 'ubiquitous' to describe general facts with family and friends
ReplyDeleteI'm totally a biologist!!!! I am still cracking up over this! :D
ReplyDeleteshayfabbro.com
I have one to add: You know you're a biologist when...you have Giant Microbes covering every square inch of free shelf space in your office :D
ReplyDeleteBoth I and my husband are scientists. We have one F1, we keep our ice cream in the -20 and we both like the 5’ and 3’ end of the bread better than the middle part. And if you really are a biologist and still think a falcon is a bird, you probably work for Greiner. =)
ReplyDeleteYou refer to people having phenotypes as if that is a normal descriptor for people's behaviors or characteristics
ReplyDeleteDamn, someday I will be a biologist :D
ReplyDeleteI usually say SUCROSE instead of Sugar xD
ReplyDeletewhen you've never considered that milk powder can be used in coffee
ReplyDeleteI think these comments actually deserve to be a part II of this post:-)
ReplyDeleteI also use: n of 1 or n of 2 in casual conversation.
ReplyDeleteClearly the DNA is seeing an analyst because it's Z-DNA. It's having existential issues.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I love all of these and all of the comments. Y'all are awesome.
Love this!
ReplyDeleteSome more:
- When you print/say "H2O" 'cause it's faster
- When you say "protocol" instead of recipe
- When you disregard science toys for your children 'cause they aren't difficult enough
When you consider what 20% ethanol would taste like
ReplyDeleteNot a scientist, but man did this make my day :) LOL
ReplyDeletewhy u forget the word.....neoteny........... we use to laugh on other
ReplyDeleteyou need to wash your hands before going to the bathroom because you dont know what you have been touching so you can contaminate yourself. Additionally, never open/close the faucet/doors with bare hands! Use the paper towel
ReplyDeleteYou get annoyed if someone spells Drosophila in lower case.... (hint hint). :)
ReplyDeleteDry ice grenades. That gives me an idea . . . .
ReplyDeleteI used to trip people out when I'd open my Carmex one-handed. Now most everyone just accepts it as part of my biology geekiness.
You label things in your home fridge with the date you open them using a sharpie
ReplyDeleteYou know you're a biologist when you when you have multiple degrees and wear a hairnet at work.
ReplyDeleteYou know you're a biologist when you wear latex gloves and a surgical gown so YOU don't contaminate the mice.
You know you're a biochemist when its obvious that the reason this DNA needs gene therapy is because it's left-handed.
ReplyDeleteYou wish you had Parafilm for use in the kitchen.
ReplyDeleteI want stir bars and a stove that can stir them!
ReplyDeleteMy father has been asking me for the past 15 years "what exactly you do?" and every time I answer him but he kept on asking me again.... ahahhahah
ReplyDeleteIam so proud to be one of this kind! :)
ReplyDeleteYou leave the soup 'overnight' to make it taste better.
ReplyDeleteI just put the cake in the oven to incubate for an hour....
ReplyDeleteMy Dr Pepper was at room temp, so I put it in the -20 and set my timer for a 30 minute incubation.
ReplyDeleteI like the parafilm addition... But I wish I had it EVERYWHERE.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you buy evolution one gloves for nasty home projects. And, you use lab tape and sharpies to label baby food.
get excited about the sex life of yeasts?
ReplyDeleteThis is PERFECT and so true. I would add "You have had parties and used conical tubes to hold shots".
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCblncsE8wQ
ReplyDeleteSo funny
Awesome post! I even loved playing with leftover liquid Nitrogen by pouring it in the corridors and seeing them vanish!!! :P :P
ReplyDeleteloved every piece of it :)
ReplyDeleteAwesome post :)
ReplyDeletelabeling tape dispensing racks don't hold enough colors and every lab member should have their own rainbow sharpie set...
Also, 10mL beakers and flasks make perfect christmas tree ornaments...
If you think the word "elucidate" is over-used.
ReplyDeleteWhen you don't count your child's milestones as valid until they have been repeated on three separate occasions.
You get annoyed when another lab member uses the same color labeling tape as you.
When your fruits go bad and you get fruit flies, you can't help but check their eye colour
ReplyDeleteI really did that. I also check the gender
I also thought about catching some to breed them and expose them to different temperatures xD
"Anonymous said...
ReplyDeletewhen you've never considered that milk powder can be used in coffee"
That actually had never occurred to me!
You are a biologist when you store spices in a falcon reck in your kitchen.
ReplyDeleteRE:No-one in your family has any idea what you do.
ReplyDeleteI wish I would know myself what I am doing...
..you noticed that the DNA in the above cartoon is a left handed helix instead of a right handed one.
ReplyDeleteYou do not think of doctors as gods and do not secretly want their job....
ReplyDeleteMost of us biologists are real scientists - not frustrated rejects from medical school.
The previous comment by the above author needs to be removed - total insult to biologists.
Agree. We don't want to be medics.
ReplyDeleteAlso, a "doctor" is someone who has a ph. D., not a medecin :-)
And yes, for some biologists, including me, a falcon is ALSO a bird.
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