... a biologist when
You open the toothpaste with one hand.
You wash your hands before and after using to the washroom.
When you hear tween, you think of the surfactant not the age group.
For you, media is something which increases your culture.
You can identify organs on roadkills.
You have a callus on your thumb.
You use the word "aliquot" in regular sentences.
Sometimes you momentarily vanish from social activities because of a timepoint.
You've never worn a clean lab coat.
You don't fear rodents, rodents fear you.
You say "orders of magnitude" in regular sentences.
You flinch when you hear the word "significant".
Showing up at 10AM and having a coffee is a productive day.
You can't stand god-like physicians, while secretly wishing you had their job.
You're very good at diluting things.
You're also very good at transferring small amounts of liquid between containers.
You are fed up of people saying alcohol, when they mean ethanol.
You hear the word ‘Molar’ and teeth are the last thing on your mind.
You say “conjugation” instead of “sex”, and "pili" sounds dirty.
SOB is not an insult, it's what you grow your bugs in.
You say "mills" and "megs".
No-one in your family has any idea what you do.
You can make a short film in power point.
You consider a green laser pointer to be science bling.
A falcon is not a bird....
And you have 5 of them with different types of water.
When your fruits go bad and you get fruit flies, you can't help but check their eye colour
You own invitrogen t-shirts and actually wear them.
You think that drosophila geneticists have a good sense of humour.
You refer to your children as the F1 (I LOVE this one:-)).
You've suffered carpal tunnel from the pipetman.
You've used kimwipes as kleenex.
A timer clipped to the hip is not only practical, but dead sexy.
You've played Battleship using tip boxes.
The front pages of Science is your light reading.
You think the following is a quality insult: "I've seen cells more competent than you!".
The scent of latex reminds you of work, not play.
You're looking for a cooking book by maniatis.
You've made dry ice grenades (so true:-)).
You've lost many friends to ice grenades...
Part II is here.
I AM a biologist:-)