Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
Have a nice weekend!
~MJ
Showing posts with label Chemistry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chemistry. Show all posts
Friday, February 14, 2014
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Monday, March 18, 2013
Science is Freaky Sometimes
Watch a bunch of stuff fizzle, pop, expand, and explode all in the name of science.
M.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Monday, November 28, 2011
Seeking romance
#1 I’ve been single-stranded too long! Lonely ATGCATG would like to pair up with congenital TACGTAC.
#2 Menage a trois! Ligands seeks two receptors into binding and mutual phosphorylation. Let’s get together and transduce some signals.
#3 Some dates have called me a promotor. Others have referred to me as a real operator. Personally, I think I’m just a cute piece of DNA who is still looking for that special transcription factor to help me unwind.
#4 Highly sensitive, orally active small molecule seeks stable well-structured receptor who knows size isn’t everything.
#5 There must be a rational way to meet a date! I’m tired of hanging out in those molecular diversity bars, hoping to randomly bump into the right peptide. I want a molecule that will fit right onto my active site and really turn me on. I’ll send you my crystal structure if you send me yours!
#6 Gene therapy graduate. After years of producing nothing but gibberish, I’ve shed my exons and ready to express my introns. All I need is a cute vector to introduce me to the right host.
#7 My RNA, I’m sorry I misread your UAAUAAUAA and inserted three tyrosine’s when you repeatedly asked me to stop. Something got lost in the translation. Please forgive me.
#8 Naked DNA with sticky ends seeks kanamycin-resistant plasmid. EcoR1 sites preferred.
#9 Uninhibited virus seeks reason to make me shed my protein coat.
#10 This very selective oligonucleotide has been probing for just the right target for long-term hybridization.
#11 Mature cells seeks some who still enjoys cycling and won’t go apoptotic on me. Let’s fight senescence together!
#12 I’m a prolific progenitor with great potential for growth and self-renewal. Call me if you’re a potent hematopoietic factor who still believes in endless nights of colony stimulation.
#13. I don’t always express myself of the surface, but I’m looking for a signal that you appreciate my complexity. Send me the right message that will penetrate my membranes, turn on my protein expression and release my potential energy.
(source)
k
#2 Menage a trois! Ligands seeks two receptors into binding and mutual phosphorylation. Let’s get together and transduce some signals.
#3 Some dates have called me a promotor. Others have referred to me as a real operator. Personally, I think I’m just a cute piece of DNA who is still looking for that special transcription factor to help me unwind.
#4 Highly sensitive, orally active small molecule seeks stable well-structured receptor who knows size isn’t everything.
#5 There must be a rational way to meet a date! I’m tired of hanging out in those molecular diversity bars, hoping to randomly bump into the right peptide. I want a molecule that will fit right onto my active site and really turn me on. I’ll send you my crystal structure if you send me yours!
#6 Gene therapy graduate. After years of producing nothing but gibberish, I’ve shed my exons and ready to express my introns. All I need is a cute vector to introduce me to the right host.
#7 My RNA, I’m sorry I misread your UAAUAAUAA and inserted three tyrosine’s when you repeatedly asked me to stop. Something got lost in the translation. Please forgive me.
#8 Naked DNA with sticky ends seeks kanamycin-resistant plasmid. EcoR1 sites preferred.
#9 Uninhibited virus seeks reason to make me shed my protein coat.
#10 This very selective oligonucleotide has been probing for just the right target for long-term hybridization.
#11 Mature cells seeks some who still enjoys cycling and won’t go apoptotic on me. Let’s fight senescence together!
#12 I’m a prolific progenitor with great potential for growth and self-renewal. Call me if you’re a potent hematopoietic factor who still believes in endless nights of colony stimulation.
#13. I don’t always express myself of the surface, but I’m looking for a signal that you appreciate my complexity. Send me the right message that will penetrate my membranes, turn on my protein expression and release my potential energy.
These are some of the best jokes ever.
(source)
k
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Very Pure
That’s very pure EDTA:
100.06% pure!
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
You know you´re ...
... a chemist when ...
... The Mercedes symbol looks like an eclipsed conformation.
... The first thing you reach for in the morning are your prescription safety glasses.
... All your shirts have holes.
... All your scars are not from bar fights but from chemical burns.
... Someone offers you acid, but its not what you expected.
...Describing sexual positions you use SN1, SN2 and all your friends know what you are
talking about. (Theoritically)
... Kids ask you how Santa fits through a small chimney and you reply, "Duh, tunneling effect."
... You buy a sleeping bag but its not for camping trips.
... You BBQ with the Bunsen burner.
... You say its the size that matters, but you're really talking about molecular radii.
... You have blisters from playing with your molecular model kit
... You are fed up of people saying alcohol, when they mean ethanol
... You hear the word 'Molar' and teeth are the last thing on your mind.
... You habitually wash your hands BEFORE and AFTER using the restroom
... You know what saline water is composed of
... You hear "ABS" and you think about acrylnitril-butadiene-styrol copolymer instead of
anti-lock breaking system.
... You hear that someone had a bicycle crash and you think that he couldn't handle
working with Naphthalene.
... You stare at the bottle of water and begin to wonder how you would separate all those ions.
... When a friend offers you a glass of amaretto after dinner, you have a sip and say
"Ahh, Benzaldehyde..."
... You look at a hexagonal-shaped cookie and think of benzene, not a hexagon.
... I and Me can be iodine and methyl when read...
... OH is a hydroxy group, not Ohio
... The stick figures you draw are carbon and not people.
... when you are humming "dilution is the solution to pollution" while looking at a urinal.
... You put a vodka shot in a 100 ml beaker.
... You use two stirring rods as chop sticks.
... You use the magnetic stirrer as a mixer for your drinks.
... You use the chemostat as an aquarium.
... You use the fume hood as a closet.
... You don't say table sugar but call it sucrose, and you call common table salt as sodium chloride.
... Someone says, "I love U" and you think they are talking about Uranium!
... You use coke not for drinking, but for cleaning pennies
... You realize your most visited site is not a pornographic one: it's Chemistry Blog
or Chemical Forums!
... You understand these jokes and laughed at them.
(source)
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
... The Mercedes symbol looks like an eclipsed conformation.
... The first thing you reach for in the morning are your prescription safety glasses.
... All your shirts have holes.
... All your scars are not from bar fights but from chemical burns.
... Someone offers you acid, but its not what you expected.
...Describing sexual positions you use SN1, SN2 and all your friends know what you are
talking about. (Theoritically)
... Kids ask you how Santa fits through a small chimney and you reply, "Duh, tunneling effect."
... You buy a sleeping bag but its not for camping trips.
... You BBQ with the Bunsen burner.
... You say its the size that matters, but you're really talking about molecular radii.
... You have blisters from playing with your molecular model kit
... You are fed up of people saying alcohol, when they mean ethanol
... You hear the word 'Molar' and teeth are the last thing on your mind.
... You habitually wash your hands BEFORE and AFTER using the restroom
... You know what saline water is composed of
... You hear "ABS" and you think about acrylnitril-butadiene-styrol copolymer instead of
anti-lock breaking system.
... You hear that someone had a bicycle crash and you think that he couldn't handle
working with Naphthalene.
... You stare at the bottle of water and begin to wonder how you would separate all those ions.
... When a friend offers you a glass of amaretto after dinner, you have a sip and say
"Ahh, Benzaldehyde..."
... You look at a hexagonal-shaped cookie and think of benzene, not a hexagon.
... I and Me can be iodine and methyl when read...
... OH is a hydroxy group, not Ohio
... The stick figures you draw are carbon and not people.
... when you are humming "dilution is the solution to pollution" while looking at a urinal.
... You put a vodka shot in a 100 ml beaker.
... You use two stirring rods as chop sticks.
... You use the magnetic stirrer as a mixer for your drinks.
... You use the chemostat as an aquarium.
... You use the fume hood as a closet.
... You don't say table sugar but call it sucrose, and you call common table salt as sodium chloride.
... Someone says, "I love U" and you think they are talking about Uranium!
... You use coke not for drinking, but for cleaning pennies
... You realize your most visited site is not a pornographic one: it's Chemistry Blog
or Chemical Forums!
... You understand these jokes and laughed at them.
(source)
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Sunday, May 29, 2011
You're so hot, you denature my proteins and other nerdy pick up lines
Your lab or my lab?
I'd really like to titrate with you...
I'm feeling rather exothermic tonight!
What does it take to get over YOUR activation barrier?
I've been single-stranded far too long! Lonely ATGCATG would like to pair up with congenital TACGTAC
My favorite mechanism is a SN2 backside attack. And you?
Hey baby! I'll be the nucleophile if you'll be the electrophile!
I must be RNA, because I'm not gonna be complete without 'u'.
If I were an enzyme I would be DNA helicase to unzip your genes.
Can I be the phasor to your electron and take you to an excited state?
We fit together like the sticky ends of recombinant DNA.
Hey, wanna put your alpha helix in my beta barrel?
Do you want to extract some protein from my column?
How about me and you go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
You’re like telophase, I admire your cleavage.
Hey baby, want to form a zygote?
If I were a Shwann cell, I'd squeeze around your axon and give you a fast action potential.
Want to be my substrate/enzyme?
You must be the one for me, since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.
Whenever I am near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.
Can I be your enzyme? Because my active site is dying for a chemical reaction.
I'm really digging your phenotype.
If I were an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me? smooth.....or ROUGH?
You must be gibberelin, because I'm experiencing some stem elongation.
Hey baby, will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?
I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my golgi body.
I want to work on your leucine zipper with my zinc fingers.
Would any of these work on you?
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Hooking up
Thanks to L, A and C for the idea:-)
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply!
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.
Do you know what I like in a girl? My dick.
My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?
My socks are having a party, do your pants want to come down?
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
You turn my software into hardware!
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in!
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden.
If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town.
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
I'm the 6, do you want to be the 9?
(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name?
(source)
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