Here it is: The author writes: It has long been known. REALLY means: I haven't bothered to look it up.
The author writes: It is believed. REALLY means: I think.
The author writes: It is generally believed. REALLY means: A couple of other guys think so too.
The author writes: It is not unreasonable to assume. REALLY means: If you believe this, you'll believe anything.
The author writes: Of great theoretical importance. REALLY means: I find it kind of interesting.
The author writes: Of great practical importance. REALLY means: I can get some mileage out of it.
The author writes: Typical results are shown. REALLY means: The best results are shown.
The author writes: Three samples were chosen for further study. REALLY means: The others didn't make sense, so we ignored them.
The author writes: The 4 hour sample was not studied. REALLY means: I dropped it on the floor.
The author writes: The 4 hour determination may not be significant. REALLY means: I dropped it on the floor, but scooped most of it up.
The author writes: The significance of these results is unclear. REALLY means: Look at the pretty artifact.
The author writes: It has not been possible to provide definitive answers. REALLY means: The experiment was negative, but at least I can publish the data somewhere.
The author writes: Correct within an order of magnitude. REALLY means: Wrong.
The author writes: It might be argued that. REALLY means: I have such a good answer for that objection that I shall now raise it.
The author writes: Much additional work will be required. REALLY means: This paper is not very good, but neither are all the others in this miserable field.
The author writes: These investigations proved highly rewarding. REALLY means: My grant is going to be renewed.
The author writes: I thank Smith for assistance with the experiments and Jones for useful discussions on the interpretation of the data. REALLY means: Smith did the experiment and Jones explained it to me.
Do you mind if I reblog this?
ReplyDeleteOh man... I only ever wrote MSc level lab/research reports, but this hits too close to home. :-) Actually painful to read...
ReplyDeleteUmacachopa - go ahead, just link it here, please:-)
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine did the same, I'll try to dig it up, it's very funny too!!!
ReplyDeleteEsmeralda @ www.sciencesosexy.blogspot.com
Here it is:
ReplyDeleteThe author writes:
It has long been known.
REALLY means:
I haven't bothered to look it up.
The author writes:
It is believed.
REALLY means:
I think.
The author writes:
It is generally believed.
REALLY means:
A couple of other guys think so too.
The author writes:
It is not unreasonable to assume.
REALLY means:
If you believe this, you'll believe anything.
The author writes:
Of great theoretical importance.
REALLY means:
I find it kind of interesting.
The author writes:
Of great practical importance.
REALLY means:
I can get some mileage out of it.
The author writes:
Typical results are shown.
REALLY means:
The best results are shown.
The author writes:
Three samples were chosen for further study.
REALLY means:
The others didn't make sense, so we ignored them.
The author writes:
The 4 hour sample was not studied.
REALLY means:
I dropped it on the floor.
The author writes:
The 4 hour determination may not be significant.
REALLY means:
I dropped it on the floor, but scooped most of it up.
The author writes:
The significance of these results is unclear.
REALLY means:
Look at the pretty artifact.
The author writes:
It has not been possible to provide definitive answers.
REALLY means:
The experiment was negative, but at least I can publish the data somewhere.
The author writes:
Correct within an order of magnitude.
REALLY means:
Wrong.
The author writes:
It might be argued that.
REALLY means:
I have such a good answer for that objection that I shall now raise it.
The author writes:
Much additional work will be required.
REALLY means:
This paper is not very good, but neither are all the others in this miserable field.
The author writes:
These investigations proved highly rewarding.
REALLY means:
My grant is going to be renewed.
The author writes:
I thank Smith for assistance with the experiments and Jones for useful discussions on the interpretation of the data.
REALLY means:
Smith did the experiment and Jones explained it to me.
Thanks! Done! =)
ReplyDeleteMy favourite is the last one.
I want to quit quite often:-)
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've laughed so much in a while :)
ReplyDeletelol
ReplyDeletestyle is good :)
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