Monday, February 17, 2014

Chuck Norris Facts - the Biology Edition part II

Part I is available here!

Chuck Norris misunderstood the meaning of "Defending his PhD." 72 people died.

Chuck Norris doesn't feed his cultures, they run on fear. ...

Chuck Norris doesn't use buffers, he just tells the pH to stay.

Chuck Norris can read papers without looking at them.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

Chuck invented the chicken and the egg at the same time to prove Charles Darwin wrong.

Chuck Norris makes proteins tell him who their binding partner is.

Chuck Norris mouth pipettes ether. While smoking a cigar.

Chuck Norris made HEK cells immortal.

Chuck Norris Doesnt get cancer he tells his cells when to divide.

Chuck Norris doesn't need ethanol to precipitate DNA. He simply roundhouse kicks the tube.

Chuck Norris has his own impact factor.

There are five biosecurity levels for labs - S1, S2, S3, S4 and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' papers are exempt from peer-review, as there simply are no peers of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinite number...twice

Extinction is simply the result of animals pissing off Chuck Norris; just look at what happened to the dinosaurs.

When chuck norris wants to work under anaerobic conditions, he just tells the oxygen to stay away from the samples.

There used to be life on Mars until Chuck Norris got there and killed everything.


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