Ph.Diva and the Mystery Band

Story of my life. Those hell days before the deadline.

If you missed the first part click here.

Thanks to Urska.

M.

Chuck Norris Facts - the Biology Edition part I

Chuck Norris has his own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.

Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

Chuck Norris isn't made up of cells; cells are made up of Chuck Norris

We need white blood cells to defend us from diseases, they need Chuck Norris.

In each mitosis, telomeres shorten... except for Chuck Norris cells.

Chuck Norris actually went to Mars, that's why there is no life there.

Chuck Norris thrives on arsenic and redefines life as we know it.

Chuck Norris designed his own DNA.

Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.

Chuck Norris has an infinite amount of chromosomes. His DNA is made of solid gold.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.

Chuck Norris can't be cloned,because nobody can take Chuck's DNA!

All of Chuck Norris' genes are dominant.

Chuck Norris's recessive genes dominate everyone else's.

E=mc² Chuck Norris=E

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M

Brain cells vs fat cells

Yes. 

(source)

M.

Sudoku

(If you know the source for this, let me know)

M.

A lot of people still don't understand what I actually do at work.

They think ...

M.

Biology Revisited

When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Thesaurus is an ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.

It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

Sterility is hereditary: If your grandfather didn't have children and your father didn't have children, you won't have children too.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

(source)

M

The Methodology Section Translator

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Handy Reference Guide to Scientific Terminology

Geometric Cells - These cardiomyocytes have adopted geometric shapes by adhering to surfaces coated with fibronectin— an extracellular matrix protein that anchors cells.



Aminoacyl – An -NH/sub2 that's a real jerk

Apical membrane – That green bumpy stuff on the outside of a baby dill

Asymmetry – Where you bury dead people

Beta-sheet – Linen you only bring out for company

CA/sup{2+} channel – The all-milk TV station

Chemotaxis – A cab which provides drug therapy

Detergents – What women do when telling a guy to take a hike

Diglyceride – what you scream out when trying to kill a glyceride

Microtome – An itty bitty book

Pachytene – Adolescent elephants

Plastid – Drunk

Prokaryote – In favour of take-out food

Redox – Rusty cattle

Taxol – Liberal plan for increasing revenue

Stereochemistry – having the correct speakers for your CD player

Free Radical – a political movement

Propane – sadomasochistic tendencies

Grignard – a three foot mile

Periodic Acid – sometimes it is and sometimes it ain't

Biotin – how much coffee you purchase

Prostate – when you want FSU to beat U.Florida in football

Helminth –what the hockeyplayers wear on their heads, thilly

IL-2 – me also

Homology – the study of real estate

Membrane – the opposite of forgettin'

Synapse – what you have after horizontal recreation

Phorbol – why the batter took first base

PIP2 – finding your boss at the next urinal

Micellar – where I stayed when the tornado hit

Palmitoyl – what your hands secrete when you're nervous

Polar Head Group – Inuit psychiatrists

Amphipathic – the ability to hike both ways

Bilayer – yeah, like, I'm gonna touch that one

Lecithin – fatter

Porin – what it is when it's rainin'

Schiff Base – stealing second

Ionophore – where I ended when I fell

Hydrophobic – fear of your electricity bill

Deoxycholate – countin' the oxen

Sulfatide – the effect of a moon on Venusian oceans

Placenta – Act III of V

Allantois – how we found out what Allan knew

Neural Crest – an oral hygiene product for the brain

Trophectoderm – the outer layer of the Stanley Cup

Spermatagonia – the reproductive area in South America

Oogonia – the clumsy area of South America

Oviposition – your opinion on whether one can eat eggs and still be a vegetarian

Uturus – the question of whether you're a native of a visitor


So good, LOL:-)

(source, source)

M

The Harvard Law of Biology

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, 
temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the organism 
will do as it damn well pleases.

(source)

PCR robots

I would love to have one today #pipetting384wellplateqPCR.

(Source)

Dude, mitosis starts in five minutes ...

(source)

M

Points of View

Scientist: The glass is always full. Right now it's 1/2 water 1/2 air.

M

She is a lab superstar!

(source)

m

The illustrated guide to a Ph.D.

Imagine a circle that contains all of human knowledge:

By the time you finish elementary school, you know a little:

By the time you finish high school, you know a bit more:

With a bachelor's degree, you gain a specialty:

A master's degree deepens that specialty:

Reading research papers takes you to the edge of human knowledge:

Once you're at the boundary, you focus:

You push at the boundary for a few years:

Until one day, the boundary gives way:

And, that dent you've made is called a Ph.D.:

Of course, the world looks different to you now:

So, don't forget the bigger picture:

Keep pushing.

You can buy this guide in print here and help a good cause. Read more here (scroll to the bottom).

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M